August 13, 2005

PSYCHOLOGY RELATED TO DEATH: This was easy for me to read in theory,but its very difficult to realize in real life.
Just thought of sharing few information on grieving process.
Five Stages Of Grief: Kubler Ross

1.Denial and Isolation.
At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Grief professionals often use the concept of "Grief Work" to help the bereaved through grief resolution. One common definition of Grief Work is summarized by the acronym TEAR:
T = To accept the reality of the loss
E = Experience the pain of the loss
A = Adjust to the new environment without the lost object
R = Reinvest in the new reality

References/More resources :

1. Stages of Grief
2. Ross Model
3. Help Guide
4. About Grief
5. Audio play


Ramana Siddharth said...

i guess the typical indian psycology is 2 pretend the problem does not exsist!!i know of a person whoose son is a drug adict..the father refuses 2 believe this fact though he was given proof!

btw all this stuff these grief professionals suggest sounds good..but i think beyond a point unless the individual makes an effort 2 overcome pain,shock,et one can help him or her..

Adaengappa !! said...

Yes,i agree with you..
The professionals act like a catalyst to alleviate the situation of the individual..Ain't it good to seek professional help than to remain depressed ?

Prabu Karthik said...

Actually, coping with grief has a lot to do with the maturity level of the individual.

And nothing which is told at the time of grief is of any help...

its what we think and ponder when we are clear and balanced in normal life which dictates how you cope with the loss...

and i agree with Sidh. unless one person is willing to accept, experience, suffer and grow from the experience nobody can help him.

Adaengappa !! said...

@PK..True that anything told at the time of grief wudnt help much..

But,if the individual still thinks about the lost ones,and doesnt realize self and revert back to normal life even after a time period,then he might warrant a professional help....

Narayanan Venkitu said...

Prabhu, very interesting informative post.

In a society like India, people gather cry and let the grief out! I've heard people say it helps to get out of the situation and to march on.

But...I feel that grief counselling helps a lot.

Thanks for all the Tech-details on grief etc. Very informative.

Does it relate only to death? I am sure a couple points apply to seperation etc. Don't you think so.?

Adaengappa !! said...

@Narayanan Sir..
The Kubler Ross Model ,in the field on thanatology,was primarily developed on dying persons with terminal illness,but can be applied/adapted to many other situations when someone experiences an emotional condition where acceptance is the final solution.
few instances are:
1.loss of pet
2.parents of disabled child
3.loss of an organ in an accident/disease
4.change in social identity
5.loss of job etc etc..

Jayan said...

True, but I think this is predominantly seen in men. I feel women react in a different way.

I think they skip #2

Saravana Kumar said...

Look at these words from bhagavat gita

The man dwelling on sense-objects develops attachment for them; from attachment springs up desire, and from desire ( unfulfilled ) ensues anger.

From anger arises infatuation; from infatuation, confusion of memory; from confusion of memory, loss of reason; and from loss of reason one goes to complete ruin.

bhagavat gita is an amazing book which has lot of insight into psychology. Its Indian way of thinking, since no one is reading and mastering bhagavat gita nowadays, indian philosophy is losing its ground even in India.

What do you think abt it .... Adengappa

Saravana Kumar said...

btw I've a new post on my blog with a question, I'd be delighted to see your comments.

sukhanya said...

I agree that loss of any type causes this kind of behaviour among humans.

@ jayan: Not all women jump to #2 directly. However I think they isolate themselves at a later stage when they ponder things. The expression of grief as crying also takes place before they become numb.

My opinion is purely my observation and my experience and I dont have any professional knowledge about this.

Nice post Prabhu. It is interesting to read the blogs of a "health care" person. Analysing human behaviour is interesting. I have always wanted to become a doctor and have great respect for that profession and honest practitioners
take care

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